


Not A Burden

by messingaround



Series: New Dads Time stamps [1]
Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Comforting, Drowning, Kisses, M/M, Nightmares, people die (but it's only in the nightmare), some gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 22:20:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8941639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messingaround/pseuds/messingaround
Summary: Dean has a nightmare and tries to deal with it by himself. Castiel is an amazing boyfriend though and is always there to comfort.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know a lot of people have been wanting more Destiel from me so that’s what I am going to give! I wish I was one of those awesome writers on here that posted/updated once a week so that I could give you guys more but I’m not :( But trust me I have a lot of things planned for New Dads in Town and series to go with it. So I hope y'all like this, tell me what you think! <3  
> Love,   
> Mess

_Dean wakes up with a jolt, something that’s been happening fairly often ever since the whole Jenny Greenteeth bullshit started. He reaches a hand out to his left, his fingers brush against Castiel’s arm. Quickly Dean pulls his hand away so that his touch doesn’t wake the slumbering angel. He looks over and watches Cas for a few seconds. His angel’s face is so incredibly peaceful while he sleeps. The sight of Castiel’s calm helps Dean even his own breathing._

_Slowly he eases himself off of the bed and slips on his slippers and robe. He checks on Gabriel first, makes sure that the toddler is still breathing and his nightlight is on. He also checks the window to make sure that it’s still locked. Next is Raphael, Dean picks up the blanket that the four year old kicked off and lays it over the brown eyed boy. Dean makes his way to Lucifer’s room. Lucifer is a very light sleeper so the green eyed man makes sure to be extra quite as he checks on the six year old. Lastly he checks on Michael. When he opens the door his heart stops for a second because he doesn’t see the dark haired eight year old. It starts beating again when he realizes that Michael is burrowed under his blankets, curled up around Bean._

_Assured that all of his boys are safe he makes his way downstairs. He tries to think about something else as he puts on a pot of coffee but his nightmare keeps running on loop._

_~~~~~~~~_

_He’s at work. His hands are covered in grease from the car that he’s been working on. There’s a sense of calm about him as he fixes the simple problem. His hands are steady as he puts in the new carburetor. He closes the hood of the car then washes his hands and clocks out. As he drives home the radio plays Elvis and he has no reason to be worried. Dean pulls into the driveway and walks to the front door, which is opened a crack, his heart rate picks up._

_He runs and pushes the door open all the way. His entire body starts shaking, there’s a trail of blood leading to the kitchen, and he follows it. Castiel is laying on the island an angel blade in his chest and head. Dean grabs the doorframe to keep himself from collapsing to his knees._

_‘The boys’ He thinks._

_He forces himself to turn around. Frantically he starts searching the house. He throws up the door to the master bathroom. This time he can’t keep himself from falling. He throws up. He starches his cheeks. He wants to rip his eyes out. He wants to unsee the sight before him. It should have been him, it should have been him. Not his boys, not his Cas. He looks up, to check and see if the sight is real, it is. His boys are all in the tub, drowned._

_~~~~~~~~_

_The sound of his ceramic mug shattering against the tiled floor brings him back to reality._

_“Shit.” He doesn’t even remembering pouring himself a cup._

_He grabs a dish towel to clean up the mess he made. His hands are shaking, that’s why dropped the mug in the first place. Carefully he starts picking up the sharp pieces of the ruined mug. A piece slips between his shaking fingers, it slices his middle and pointer finger open._

_“Shit.” Dean mutters again and wraps the towel around his fingers so that he doesn’t drip anymore blood onto the floor._

_“Dean? What are you doing?” Cas’ voice breaks through the nights silence._

_He springs up from behind the island. A half-awake Castiel is standing in front of him and raises an eyebrow is confusion._

_“I woke up.” Dean half explains._

_“And?”_

_“And nothing. I dropped my mug. Go back to bed Cas.”_

_The angel rounds the island that is separating them. Castiel unwraps the towel from Dean’s hand, he doesn’t say anything as he heals the cuts then kneels to start cleaning up the mess that Dean made._

_“Castiel, stop. I can clean it.”_

_“You’re a shaking mess. Please let me do.” Castiel’s voice is sincere and full of concern._

_He doesn’t argue any further, instead he takes a seat on one of the stools and watches Cas clean up his mess. Dean doesn’t let himself think of the nightmare, he focuses on Cas instead. He focuses on his dark hair and intense blue eyes. He watches the way his angel’s fingers move as they pick up the pieces of the mug. He examines Castiel’s back muscles and the way they move under his skin. Dean keeps his eyes on Cas and thinks about only him._

_Dean doesn’t know how much time has passed when Castiel gently pulls him up from the stool. The angel leads him back to their bedroom, he follows in a daze. Castiel has Dean get in bed first then gets on the bed and curls himself up against Dean’s side. He takes the angel’s hand in his own and grips it._

_“What happened?” Cas asks, voice low._

_“Nothing. I’m fine.” Dean responds, his attention on the warmth that’s radiating off of Cas’ bare chest._

_“That’s not the truth.”_

_“You don’t have to worry about me.” He presses a kiss to Cas’ unruly hair._

_“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but don’t not tell me because you think it will be a burden to me.” Castiel turns his head up so that his brilliant blue eyes are looking up into Dean’s green ones._

_“We’re dealing with enough right now, you don’t need to hear about my stupid nightmare.”_

_“Dean, you are not a burden to me. You don’t have to go through bad things on your own.” Cas says with finality._

_“I don’t want to think about it.” Dean admits, tears unwillingly brimming in his eyes._

_“Okay,” Castiel leans up and presses a kiss to Dean’s lips, the kiss anchors Dean to reality it anchors him to Cas, “have I ever told you about the time that Balthazar threw me off a mountain?”_

_Dean shakes his head. He knows what Castiel is doing and he appreciates it. Cas starts tell him the story about when Balthazar threw him off a mountain in hopes that it would get Castiel to fly. Really, Dean only half listens to the story. He sits back and enjoys the sound of his boyfriends voice and the warmth coming from him, he watches the way Castiel’s lips move and his facial expressions. He grips his angel’s hand and holds Cas close to him._

_~~~~~~~~_

_Three long stories later Dean is laying on his side staring at Cas through half lidded bleary eyes. He’s half asleep but still holding his angel’s hand. Castiel isn’t talking at the moment, he’s just looking back at Dean._

_“You were dead,” Dean tells him, “all of you were. You and the boys. I wasn’t home when it happened. I couldn’t save you. It felt so real. Castiel, it felt so real. It still does I close my eyes and see it and it looks so real.” Silent tears slide down his cheeks._

_Castiel kisses the tears away. “But it’s not real. I’m right here and the boys are asleep. We’re all safe.”_

_“I know. I just want to stop seeing it.” He leans his forehead against Cas’._

_“Do you want me to block it?”_

_“No. I just- I just want you to stay here.” Dean wraps his arm around Cas’ waist and pulls his angel closer._

_“I wouldn’t even consider leaving.” Cas kisses the green eyed man’s cheek again._

_Dean closes his eyes and focuses on his angel’s scent, peppermint and honey._

_“I love you.” Castiel whispers, barely audible._

_Dean’s breathe hitches and his heart speeds up. “I love you too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god guys, I’m literally floored by how many people wanted oneshots and more of the little universe I created! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have such amazing people enjoying my story, and wanting more. I’m so lucky and blessed to be able to share and get positivity in return. I love every single one of you so much, I truly do, and I know I’m always thanking y’all and gushing love everywhere but that’s just how I am, if any of you knew me in real life then it would be the same thing my friends and I always tell each other how much we love each other.   
>  Also I've been so motivated lately and have so much inspiration so maybe I'll be able to post more for y'all :D   
> Love again,   
> Mess


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